And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
