You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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