"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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