how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Terrible idea I love it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
