i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
