you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
