I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The feeling are messing with the penis
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
