Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
