My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
