genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So much rum. So many feels.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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