You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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