You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
