My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I supernannyed him into submission
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
