Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
