who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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