I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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