I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
