I am puke
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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