We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
