you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
