no, he came in my armpit
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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