I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
