now i know why i became what i already was.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
