Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
