I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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