My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
