Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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