JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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