it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
