So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
