The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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