im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
