I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
