I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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