I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
