She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
