Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
