he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
