how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
