.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
