We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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