Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
