another moral hangover. fuck.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
