the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
