Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
