So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
