I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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