Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's like iHOP with fire
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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