my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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