I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
