the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
