Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
