I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
