What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
