I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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