More tranny stories later!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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