If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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