soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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