Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
